10 years

That's what I was typically trying to do, trying hard to make the sluggish yawn slightly imperceptible while doing some monotonous filing and typing job, well surely with the rainy icy day, I was practically in the sleepy mood, and THIS subsequently pulling down my usual perkiness. Moodiness set in, as usual.

The flame of anticipation is quickly doused by the complicated form fillings whenever I feel the excitement within me roaring and howling exuberantly. I haven't yet gotten rid of the awful sickening feeling of sadness, nor did I feel good enough for the news delivered days ago, not by owl certainly but post. Bombarded by the maelstrom of emotions, the thought of having a break is thrilling and exciting. Hell, I'm having a break now!

Rereading the book of Harry Potter I felt tears rolling, gleaming and glistening.

Well, no more platform nine and three quarters, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Muggles, and Lord Voldemort other than Harry, Ron and Hermione. A stab of pain. It's always been a part of my life, a well-known magical fantasy life. =(

My friend asked me, out of curiosity, I guess, Would I be crying when I write my blog. Hmm... Perhaps, honestly, sometimes, I will. Would u cry reading the above sentence? Maybe this is why I feel sad always. We're pathetic. Life revolves around sleep, eat, work and study. How dull is that. I just want my life to be a little more meaningful.

Feeling devastated, I'm not acting all sad and subdued, people might think that I'm insane and over-reacted crying over for the end of a book. But Let's think, How'd our life be 10 years later? Working, Working and WORKING. We're born, we grow, then we leave and we'll die. Life cycle, inevitable and unavoidable. How predictable? Pathetic.

A Look Back- For 10 years have been over.

~The End~

Harry Potter, Part of my Life =)

Yes, I'm back writing again. Devastatingly sad, I'm not, perhaps for now I am.

"Everything has to end anyhow, Regardless how majestic It begins, It still ends." I love this, quoted by ME =) Well, the end of Harry Potter, I feel real sad and down! See how young they were before.

A buzz of excitement aroused among almost all the Facebookers, creating quite a commotion around 1100am before the result was out. Well, Face IT! I told myself sternly, trying to ease my anxiety, looking as matter-of-fact as always but the truth was, my heart pounding rapidly every single second, sweat spilling down and pooling around me, suffocating even gasping for air. (Well It's exaggerated I know). I asked my bff to check for me and well after a few seconds, though that very few seconds every sense of mine was numbed. 'You've been offered a place in UM ME02. Perplexed, I tried to check via Web cos It's confirmed that I'd be in UM for the next 4 years, I feel much more better by then. UM Accountancy. =)

I'd have been very overwhelming, have it not been the end of Harry Potter. What the heck am I doing to be so down and emotional all of sudden? But the fact is still overwhelming. The lack of concern of my friends was quickly forgotten for awhile. Basically I need every strength of mine preserved for the future. Yes That's it! But I'm a little worried now, about how I might be for the life ahead.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows marks the end of Harry Potter. I'm SAD as above-mentioned, not for the trivial friend matter, that's stupid. I'm SAD cos Harry Potter has finally come to its end. "Neither will live while the other survives." I was on the brink of tears watching the movie, remembering back how I come to love the books, then the movies, the characters. 10 years. It's my life! Seriously, It's been a part of me ever since, the pain of losing it, Oh gosh, I'm going to cry! =( Thinking of how sad It is to leave your family, this is how I feel now. I bet J.K Rowling feels the same too, devoting her whole life for the books. Tell you what, I love Emma Watson. And I'd buy every book and be reading it all over again! =)

Determination. I want to be like J.K Rowling! SO I must improve my English first. To be able to write like she does needs lots of efforts and I'm gonna do my best! For your info, although my main course is Accountancy, but I'll be working hard on my Eng too! I believe that I can make it! =)

Am I being too Emotional to have myself loss in the sea of frustrations and sadness, Well, no more platform nine and three quarters, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Muggles, and Lord Voldemort other than Harry, Ron and Hermione. A stab of pain. It's always been a part of my life, a well-known magical fantasy life. =(

~The End~

I miss...

A good song to share first before I begin my post.

'Neither can live while the other survives.' It's a prominent and well-known Prophecy in Harry Potter, as I guess all Harry Potter fans'll know. Strong vehement feeling about the books, the movies, the characters, and anything related. 10 years. The tight scrutiny of people on anything bad is sickening, everything opposes the right would be wrong. In fact, that's the reason why people r all masquerading, pretending to be kind and good, but what beneath the ugly mask is the stinking, ugly and pathetic coward. No offence.

When I need someone, there's someone. I feel good to have that someone, thank you Lao Yan! =) 2 more days result will be out and we'll all know where the hell we'll be going. Praying silently and whole-heartedly. Dumping all the turbulent emotions out of my mind for awhile just to pray feverishly for the coming Friday. Stress-induced turbulence? To be honest, I'm a little worried. By the way, It isn't another emo blog post, just some realizations to make.

Appreciate my friends for the concern. By the way, I'm fine. I know u all won't believe me with the posts and the statuses, but well, I'm solidly fine. Vee and She Mei. I tried to do what I'm supposed to do, I dare say that. SO what? I fail I guess. But never mind that cos I won't be doing anything anymore. Cos It's just tiring, better lying down to sleep than wasting my time. Why so gloomy and heartbreaking when everything I did was in vain? Cos I cared! But now no more. There.s no one worth heartbreaking for. I love the song '寂寞寂寞就好'. Not worth crying over for something stupid.

I won't be posting anything lately my friends, for those who bother to come and read. Let's say I take a break for writing, temporarily. Maybe a week later? A month? Wound needs time to heal, as much as mental exhaustion. =) Anyway, I'm glad for the absolute finality.

Believe me or not, when I say 'I miss u', I truly mean it. SMILE =)

A3 Long Live =)

Lively Penang Trip =)

Lovely Classmate =)

My Bffs

~The End~

'Planking'

Guess what? I was a little fussy and easily-agitated the whole day last Saturday, might be the sweltering whether, possibly, or else the usual turbulent emotions. The vehement anger died down a little and the mundane awful world seems prettier a lot. Insanely craving over the need of company, why should I, while people have all but forgotten my presence. The devil inside was raging for attention, outrageous for the lack of concerns and regards. Simply a HOW ARE YOU would do, or at least a HI. That's all I need.

I didn't start my post to tell you all how upset I was, the trivial inconsequential details of my current life. Well. Awesome! Rummaging my brain for some other vocabs but found none better than that. (Sort of getting worse my English nowadays).

This is me, I typically spent time wax-ing my hair to look a little spiky n punky. Chew Li and Videsh both said that I look slimmer a lot. Is it? First destination was Orchard. It's my third time out to the same place but with different gangs. And to my surprise I found all were thrilling, nonetheless how many time I've been there! =) 'Planking' is the new trend in Singapore. For me, I guess I won't try at all. Ha But hell they're cool! Daring themselves to lie face down to the earth under the flaming hot sun, with people standing around casting curious look at them. Their courage captivated me to stay and take a picture.

Next, Dhoby Ghaut, the arcade. It's great to relax and have fun. And we practically broke the game record thrice, with all our effort, seeing our name on the screen was ecstatic!

City Hall, Esplanade and Marina Bay. The irresistible beauty once again captured my heart. Night could be scary, evil, even cunning but the beauty of it is undeniably stunning! The weather was fine, the wind gently caressed us, making our sore tiring skin ease just a little. No words can describe. So just look at the pics! =)

We're finally back to our home around 1am.. Glad that we made it before 1am =) Thanks Videsh and Kumar, Thrish and Jin Pei the guide, and Kwang Yek for being able to present herself yesterday night, forsaking her sleeping time, and Videsh dad for bringing me home! =) I feel real good, exuberant and overwhelming Ha.

Yep and I need sleep now. Those stinging, piercing-my heart pain doesn't bother me anymore, cos there are nothing AT ALL. Cos they are not worth it! SMILE =)

~The End~

Shed Tears

"Shed tears and move on." What an impressive and comforting line but It sounds outright cliche to me. It's typically a few words to encourage people to be brave, to pluck up their courage to face the corrupt world. How funny is that? I know people shouldn't cocoon themselves in their other-world, but sometimes we just couldn't pull ourselves out the pessimism. As IF struggling to keep those nasty idiosyncrasies away, much the same but not exactly xD. Cynicism. Oh Gosh!

I'd have started to cry again IF I were to watch The Mist again, the ending was just sad, undescribably sad. Heart pounding as the last scene replayed all over again. Die seemingly the last choice to the eternal peace, how sad could it be when all your love ones die, by your hand and you couldn't die, although u very much wanted to? Cherish the one u love. I guess that's the moral values to be learnt from the movie?

Yes. I'll be a little sophisticated, reluctant to pull myself out of the dreamy complicated state of mine. Much to my surprise I'm okay with that. And I seriously need to escape now for once to the place where I'd never again be haunted by the emotional disturbance. That's before. Congratulate my dear friend, Weng See for getting a PASS in her exam, miraculously as she stated it herself. U are tough already for me! I'm proud of U! =)

My classmate Chew Li sensed some Emo-ness from my current profile picture? Did I? Hmm... But thanks to her concern =) SO, classmate, how about this pic with weird expression? HA. My spiky porcupine hair was a pain in the ass for me cos I did it for LONG. == The below one, I so pale thanks to the lightning! After Vampire Academy, I started all over again the Vampire Diaries. What a vampire fan I am? How do they cope with their life for years? Decades? Even Centuries? Living secretly n keeping their identity clandestine! A little headache just now but I'm fine after swallowing down Panadol. I've been publishing sophisticated post for so long, But believe me, I'm not that Emo. Just. =)

Don't ever shed a single tear for those who not worth it! Lesson learnt - DO NOT ever treat people so good cos what u get in the end? nothing. Friends? That's funny cos I really don't believe that. SO don't ever use friends to be the excuse again! I'm serious! That isn't a funny joke and I promise myself won't be disappointed ANYMORE cos there's no one worth my disappointment. Drop the pretense please and I very much appreciate that. Thank u Weng See and Pek Yan so much again. I feel so much better and comforting. =)

There's nth to be sad for losing sth, when there's nth to lose, then u'd be sad. By the way I love Avril so much! I wanna buy her original album which cost 40sth!!! SMILE =)

~The End~

Hair Trimmed

Why the hell everyone looking at me with that stabbing, questioning look? Did I look like a runaway or a criminal that has just admitted killing? Oh, I get it! Hmm.. Anyway, I ain't in the mood to write but something inside me was urging me to write. Pardon me for being so pessimistic again. I cut my untrimmed hair finally, no more messy and unkempt look. I sort of missing my long hair now thought I found it kind of irritated before.

A spasm of jealousy, envious notion crept in. Seriously, I need to get myself off a second. I mean, technically I'm off now, considering I'm one of the unemployed gangs. That's not what I mean. I need to rest Mentally. "They Come First" Swallowing down word by word, I really love Vampire Academy. A great inspiring book, not in the romantic way. Practically, I don't believe in irrevocable friendship, let alone the kind of will-die-for-u-no-matter-what, I'd have ended up laughing IF someone told me that. But could it ever be real? Hmm...

Kind of cynical me but look at the reality! Claustrophobically shutting myself from the outside world, I've been staying home for days ever since I stop working. I wanted to ask someone out to watch Transformer, to sing, somehow I couldn't list out a few. In retrospect, I always found people to go out with. The nostalgic feeling of old days. Time changes, people change. I want to talk to anyone pls! Just anyone! =(

I won't survive without music. It a way to relax myself. A form of entertainment to shun the realistic world. I love music. =) I feel apologetic to my little brother cos I've been treating him quite fierce recently mainly due to his learning attitude. By the way, It's my dad birthday. Wish him Happy Birthday. Done crapping. SMILE =)

~The End~